Saturday, July 14, 2012

Movie time and gender roles

This was a very busy week at work for me:
Monday - normal workday, except with a fondue party with coworkers
Tuesday - all day training in Seattle
Wednesday - finish prep for conference
Thursday - host conference
Friday - host conference

I've been dlligently commuting by bike ever since we sold one of our cars.  I got a smartphone last week and the app "One Bus Away" is my new favorite app.  It figures out where you are and then gives you a map showing all the nearby bus stops with all their respective route arrivals.  Because so many buses service the area where I work, it's a cinch to figure out how to get home.  I even took my bike to Seattle this week.

Anyway, last night I got home after having put in a 10-hour day.  I was tired from having worked hard to make the conference execution look seamless to the attendees, and my feet hurt because I had,despite years of event planning experience, worn sandals with no support in them.  After a day of running around on concrete, your feet hurt.  It's the next day and they still hurt.

Gene wanted to watch a movie.  There are some key differences between how we watch movies at home.

When he puts in a movie I...
  • start a load of laundry
  • divide the week's accumulated laundry into 2 piles: diapers and clothes.  Give the clothing pile to Gene.
  • assemble diapers
  • fold and put away all the baby laundry
  • notice that the toilet needs scrubbing: do it
  • plunk a new bleach tablet into the toilet tank
  • wash and put away the dishes from dinner
  • refill the dog's water bowl
  • make myself up a plate of fruit skewers and chocolate sauce from the conference leftovers
  • take my kindle outside - we've been having glorious weather in Washington - and enjoy a few minutes of quiet time with "The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel" until the mosquitos and waning light drive me inside
  • remember at some point that I was supposed to be watching a movie
Gene, on the other hand, puts in a movie and...
  • watches the movie
  • folds the laundry I gave him
  • finishes watching the movie

How can I relax when there's so much to be done?  The house goes to shit during the week - "the baby didn't sleep, wouldn't let me put him down" - and yet I'm able to get it clean by noon of the first day of my weekend.  How come I, as the woman of the household, still have the majority of the housework, despite Gene being the stay-at-home parent? 

Apparently I drew the short straw.

There's a reason the book "Porn for Women" was so popular.  I've talked to lots of girlfriends, and many are in the same boat.  Introducing the fine art of "choreplay" has had no effect.

Is there a magical solution I'm missing?  What do you do in your households?

About a week ago Gene and I went to see "The Avengers". The local movie theatre has remodeled and replaced its traditional seats with massive leather recliners. It was two and a half hours of heaven. That was the first time I'd seen a movie in a theatre since we saw "The Muppets" on Thanksgiving weekend.    Those 2+ hours spent with my feet up, no laundry to fold, no dishes to clean, no baby to feed, were magnificent.

How The Avengers would look if drawn in typical poses for female comic characters

I'm debating going again and just taking a 2-hour nap.


  1. Go--- take the nap!

  2. I have decided that its a subconscious thing. We feel too guilty sitting through a two hour movie when the house is a shambles. Even if its not a shambles. We are just programed to keep ourselves busy. "there must be something I need to do" goes through my brain whenever we put a movie on.

    Angela Herbert