1. In the spring plant 2-3 summer squash plants of any variety. Most people plant a variety of zucchini or yellow squash. My plant of choice was yellow squash and the egg shells were to prevent blossom-end rot.
2. Weed, water, and watch for the next 3-4 months.
3. In August, you'll start getting squash. Lots and lots and lots of squash. So many squash, in fact, that you now have enough to give to friends, co-workers, neighbors, and strangers driving slowly past your house with their windows down.
4. Go to farmers market and purchase, for $2, the type of squash you didn't plant because "oh, wouldn't those be great grilled?!".
5. Later that day, a neighbor, friend, co-worker, or person driving slowly past your house with the windows down will drop off a box of squash bounty, grin widely, and dash away.
You, my friend, have been an unwitting player in a game of "Squash-n-Dash". It's the rick-roll of the gardening world.
On a positive note, I got to introduce my 62-year-old father to the wonder of grilled squash. He texted me the next day to tell me that he'd bought his own set of BBQ skewers so that he could start grilling vegetables.
Wonder if he'd like some squash?